A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
