all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
