she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
