The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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