She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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