Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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