Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
