her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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