Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
