I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
