dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm both gender and math confused
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
