oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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