Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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