Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
