I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
