I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
