ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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