Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
