dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
