As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
