I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Randomize
