The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
