turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
