All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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