i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
