drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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