Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
