She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
