The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
