He is an equal opportunity slut.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
