just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
