I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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