Heybabeimwearingurpanties
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
