so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
