I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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