YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
