I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He has the fingertips of a God
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