I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
