Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
