We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
