there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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