So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
