It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
