whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
