just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
