Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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