dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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