How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
