I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
someone threw a dead crab at me
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
