Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
