I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
