Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
